


The Universe's most Comfortable Couch

by Dr_Psyche



Series: Lustrous [4]
Category: Steven Universe (Cartoon)
Genre: Gen, Past Abuse
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-04-01
Updated: 2020-04-01
Packaged: 2021-02-28 21:46:42
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 3,271
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23434135
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Dr_Psyche/pseuds/Dr_Psyche
Summary: After the crisis at Mayalx, the Zircons meet up with Peridot for a vacation to Vort; home of mass warship production and comfrotable couches.
Relationships: Blue Zircon & Peridot (Steven Universe), Blue Zircon/Yellow Zircon (Steven Universe)
Series: Lustrous [4]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/821943
Comments: 9
Kudos: 10





	1. Vortian Vacation

**Vort**

“The Vortian race are famous, and sometimes infamous, for their scientific prowess. It pales in comparison to the advances made by the Diamonds, but it is still impressive… in it’s own way. Vortian scientists have constructed countless warships for numerous empires. Production increased since their independence. The Vortian Shipyards are sub-contracted to many empires, sometimes even one’s at war with each other. Soldiers from Irk, Alternia, and even Sontar can be seen here acquiring their latest weapons of mass destruction!”

Peridot sounded too excited seeing all of the tech on display. She and the Zircons were on the planet Vort on vacation. Peridot and Blue Zircon had managed to line up their schedules and plan this trip a year in advance; Yellow Zircon tagged along because after being beaten near to death, she needed a break. When they’d finally met up for the trip, Blue had grabbed Peridot and hugged her as hard as she could. Such acts of affection weren’t uncommon for Blue, but Peridot felt like there was more to this one. A sort of desperation and relief that Peridot could not place.

They’d just arrived at the Vortian Spaceport and, the moment she’d glimpsed the adjacent Shipyards from the landing craft, Peridot was determined to make that their first stop.

The trio had disembarked from their craft and walked over, Peridot happily listing off the various warships and histories behind them. Blue Zircon smiled and nodded, happy to indulge Peridot on her long winded gushing. Yellow casted a concerned look at the ships under construction. There were a dozen identical ships at this yard. They were exceptionally long vessels, and seamed spear like, with the ship getting thicker near the aft with a pair of wings extended. They were being upgraded and painted; their purple and greys being replaced by red and whites.

“Oh my Stars,” Peridot said. “I know what this is! This is the Order 83 refit! With the collapse of the Galran Empire, many of their battleships were either abandoned or left in various states of completion at the shipyards they’d been commissioned at. The Empire having no money to sustain their conquest, had left the ships in limbo. Then the Alternians issued an edict and allocated resources to buy up the discarded Galran Battleships and have them refitted for Alternian use. Many of the owners had to sell at a lower price to hope to recoup even a small amount of the money they sank into the construction, often under threat of execution by the Galra. The ships are quite unwieldly, especially compared to Gem Tech, but their Ion Cannons pack a hard punch. The Alternians had them outfitted with their own technology and changed to match their aesthetic. Spiky red battleships, Stars what a bunch of drama queens.”

The Zircons followed Peridot as she ran to one of the observation decks. A massive gun, presumably the Ion Cannon she’d mentioned, was being lowered onto the top of one of the ships by crane. Vort was one of several production planets commissioned for the refit. The Alternians were at least willing to pay for the upgrades at a less extortionate price. Peridot’s face lit up as she watched the machines attach the wiring from the ship into the cannon and weld the weapon into place. 

“Sometime in Era 2,” she continued. “Before I was made. Emerald had her flagship, the Praying Hands, created in these shipyards! Can you imagine, one of the most infamous Gem Vessels of all time, and we’re standing in its birthplace! EEEEE!”

Yellow remembered the ship’s creation really well. The Shipyards were hired out as a sign of good faith, but Emerald wanted Gem Engineers working the project only. The Vortian engineers were offended at this and annoyed by the difficulties that came with Gem tech. The light based Gem technology only synched directly with their unique anatomy and other non-Gem species had difficulties manipulating it. That said, even if they learned, Emerald was uneasy about other races knowing the ins and outs of Homeworld’s machinery. One of Yellow’s earliest jobs was working to compromise between Vort and Homeworld’s engineers. From that union came the Praying Hands, a massive warship that combined two hand class battleships together, their fingers entwined in solemn prayer. When the hand unfurls, its twelve lasers could decimate an entire battalion. The ship was still in service to this day and currently entangled in one of Pyrope’s campaigns.

“In one of the shipyards in Vort’s southern hemisphere, they’re designing a new dropship,” Peridot continued. “It’s expected that we’ll have the new class of dropship out and integrated into our military before the conclusion of Era 2!”

“I wonder what it will be like,” Blue said. 

“Hopefully it’ll have comfier seats,” Yellow said. “Dropships have such sparse accommodations.”

“Not the ships, Era 3,” Blue replied. “I mean just think about it. We’ve never seen a major transition between Eras. Imagine what it would be like? A new line of Gems, a new way of doing things, a change to our very lifestyles.”

“New weapons!” Peridot exclaimed.

“New means of oppressing other planets!” Yellow exclaimed.

Blue looked at them unimpressed, “You both need better imaginations.”

“You need to lighten up,” Yellow said. “We’re on vacation. No need to dwell on ethical quandaries.”

“We’re literally standing in a weapons manufacturing district,” Blue replied.

“Details, details,” Yellow said, waving her off. 

Peridot lead them from the docs to another point of interest nearby. It was a memorial erected for a famine that occurred during the occupation by the planet Irk. An Irken leader disliked the cuisine served in the district and ordered all the crop fields burned; 900 Vortians died. Blue was unnerved by the display of callousness while Peridot was fascinated by the memorial itself. It was a hard light hologram statue that was built by the Vortians.

“One of the first things they created after learning our technology,” Peridot said, looking up at the hologram. “I mean, it _is_ a complete waste of resources and almost insulting to Homeworld to have our cutting edge tech used for a glorified grave marker, but it’s still interesting to see.”

“This is what our science looks like in the hands of another race,” Yellow said, stroking her chin. “This pre-dates the Praying Hands.”

Blue took a look at the sculpture. It was a hologram of a large plant, the grain that was burned by the Irken colonists. The little voice in the back of Blue’s head made a quick comparison between that and their own colony worlds; Blue stamped out the thought before it could finish.

“Oh my Stars!” Peridot shouted, running back to the Shipyards. “One of the Refits is launching!”

The Zircons joined her in watching one of the ships take off. The base, knife-like, design of the Galran ship was there but its colors and added spikes made it unmistakably Alternian. The orange horned grey skinned aliens had another weapon in their generations long conquest.

“The engines are unchanged from their original design,” Peridot said. “But the power-core and energy systems are completely replaced with ones that can better interface with Alternian psychics.”

Peridot continued on with a long-winded explanation of the battleships’ make up and background. Blue was happy to indulge any topic that the green Gem had a passion for. She loved seeing Peridot’s face light up when she launched into her latest fixation.

“Oh, over there!” Peridot said, running to what appeared to be a gift shop for the shipyards.

Blue turned to follow her, but was stopped when Yellow put a hand on her shoulder

“Blue, you need to tell her what happened on Mayalx,” Yellow said.

Blue frowned, “I know, I know. I just… I don’t want to bring the mood down. It’s been a while since we’ve been face to face.”

“She needs to know.”

“I can tell her afterwards.”

“It’s going to eat at you the longer you don’t tell her,” Yellow said, concerned.

“It won’t,” Blue replied, not truly believing in her words.

Blue followed Peridot into the gift shop where she was admiring a few ship models on display. There were a number of miniatures of the famous intergalactic ships, among them was: Yellow Diamond’s Arm Ship, the Massive from the Irken Empire, and the Battleship Condescension from the Alternian Empire. The Vortian salesperson looked bored and didn’t seem to care too much about the green Gem taking pictures. The Vortians were small creatures, roughly the size of Peridot without limb-enhancers. They had grey skin and curved grey horns; they all had elongated feet and stood on the tips of their toes. 

“EEEE, look at the detail on these,” Peridot said, analyzing a miniature of the retrofitted ships they’d seen outside. “Stars, the little Ion Cannons are so cute. With some spare time I could actually add some wiring and make them fire.”

Peridot deployed her holoscreen and gestured for Blue to come to her. She and Zircon stood, with their backs to the ship display case, and smiled for a selfie. Yellow paused at the door, not wanting to interrupt their photo. Peridot ended up buying a scale model of Yellow Diamond’s ship, commenting to the apathetic cashier that it was a noble (if futile) attempt to capture the majesty of the real thing. 

They exited the giftshop and headed into the city, Peridot storing the model ship in her gem. They passed by several cafes and restaurants, their purposes meaningless to the Gems, but Peridot used them as a jumping off point for a story about ship development. Yellow looked up at the buildings that loomed over them. Several ships flew above them off to trade or transport. She recognized a Roaming Eye amongst them, but that was all; their designs were alien to her.

“And then we had to shut production down because the Vortians installed a, “toilet” as it was called.” Peridot said.

“What in Diamond’s name is a toilet?” Blue asked.

“Waste receptacle when organics digest their food,” Peridot said, disgusted. “They had a whole plumbing system running throughout the Dropship. We had to pull that out and redesign the damn thing. It was so frustrating!”

“Shouldn’t they know our anatomy by now?” Blue asked. “Or at least make an educated guess?”

“I don’t know,” Peridot said, before turning to Yellow Zircon. “Hey, you’ve been here before right? Wouldn’t they know that?”

Yellow didn’t respond, she was distracted by a building that was extending a landing pad.

“Zircon?” Peridot asked, grabbing her arm.

It was a light grasp only meant to get her attention but her reaction surprised Peridot. Zircon immediately flinched at the touch and jerked her arm back. Alarm and fear flashed across Yellow’s face for a second, but she quickly calmed down.

“Ah, sorry, what was that?” she asked.

“Are.. are you ok?” Peridot asked, concerned.

“No no, I’m fine,” Yellow said, waving Peridot’s concern off.

Peridot could see Yellow rubbing, seemingly unconsciously, at the area Peridot had touched her.

“Is your arm ok?” Peridot asked.

“Oh, just a little injury from our last assignment,” Yellow said, chuckling. “Slipped and fell. A Quartz grabbed my arm and, well, that sudden jerk to it probably hurt me more than a fall would.”

Peridot looked unconvinced.

“C’mon, that was a perfect lie damnit,” Yellow thought.

“Are you ok?” Peridot asked again. “I mean, not just now, something seems up with you guys since Mayalx.”

Blue looked from Peridot’s concerned face to Yellow’s neutral one. She needed to say something, but Yellow beat her to it.

“When you’ve got a mountain of paperwork and a tight deadline you don’t ‘come back.’ Nobody returns from that with a sound mind.”

Yellow chuckled at that. Peridot, begrudgingly, seemed to accept that comment, but Blue knew that wasn’t the end of this. 

“Come on,” Blue said, “We’re almost to the couches.”

That immediately got their attention. The true purpose of any visit to Vort, not the Shipyards, not the war factories, not the history, but the couches. Vortian scientists had excelled in 2 fields: space related warfare, and comfy seating. So many races hired them to build ships, not simply for the deadly weapons, but for the excellent interior seats.

Vort truly was the capital of ass comfort.

At the grand square of the city were several a rows of seats of various sizes facing a huge television screen playing ads. The trio saw aliens from all over the cosmos jostling to find a chair, sofa, couch, or bean bag to sit on. Their faces told it all: comfort without limits. The Gems passed by a pair of Rubies squabbling over a high-chair and an Omikronian whose lust for conquest vanished the moment his butt touched the armchair he currently sat on. 

Yellow, Blue, and Peridot happened upon a nice couch and considered it. It was perfect: clean, inviting, and able to fit three people without being too cramped or having too much room. It had no cupholders, perfect for a species that hadn’t quite come around to cups. They sat on it: Peridot at the left, Blue Zircon in the middle, and Yellow Zircon on the right. They let out a collective sigh as the softness enveloped them. 

Peridot was in… not exactly Heaven, but some Gem afterlife equivalent. She could feel it even in her limb-enhancers. It was as if time and life had slowed to a crawl; she stared lazily up into the air, watching the ships fly past.

Yellow Zircon would compare this moment to… something inappropriate which will not be disclosed. The memories of her arm and the incident at Mayalx weren’t important right now. It was time to relax and think about how much she deserved this.

Blue stretched her arms out behind Peridot and Yellow. It was good to have them here with her; away from the dreadful hours of reading through Homeworld’s next atrocity or a violent Amethyst threatening to kill them, torture them, or worse. Blue’s anxiety slithered back into its corner to sulk and she felt at peace.

They stayed in couch comfort bliss for at least an hour watching ads play and ships fly by. Peridot dozed off next to her; the couch was so comfortable that even Gems were compelled to sleep. Blue took a look at Peridot’s sleeping face, she looked so cute and comfortable. It pained her to break that.

“Hey,” Blue whispered over to Yellow.

“Mm?”

“Is your arm ok?”

“It’s fine, Blue. Regeneration fixed any physical trauma.”

“And mental trauma?”

“I just wasn’t expecting her to grab me is all. Had a mental relapse to when _she_ grabbed me.”

“Are you ok?” 

Yellow looked from her back to the sky, watching transport ship fly overhead.

“I’m not,” Yellow said. “Ok seems pretty far away right now. As the days go on, maybe I’ll get closer to it. Maybe.”

“I’m going to tell her,” Blue said.

Yellow nodded.

Blue let the moment last a few minutes longer. A small little bubble where their obligations and responsibilities were pushed away. Unfortunately, they couldn’t be free forever and Blue eventually woke Peridot up.

She told Peridot everything: the beatings, the destabilizations, the Polishing procedure, and the Invasion. It hurt her to see Peridot’s face fall like that, to realize that 8XA had gone after them, and to further know that because the project’s records were deleted, most of 8XA’s actions on Mayalx would go unpunished.

“I wanted to tell you earlier,” Blue said. “But I also didn’t want to dump this out on you on our vacation. But you had a right to know.”

“I-I’m sorry,” Peridot said, sighing.

“No!” Blue exclaimed. “No, no, don’t be sorry you-”

“Got you involved!” Peridot said, a bit louder than she wanted. “I got you wrapped into this. She assaulted you on the Skipjack and now she did it there too! It’s because you tried to help me! Stars I’m such a clod.”

“Peri, no,” Blue said, “No, you can’t believe that. It’s not your fault that this happened.”

“Don’t you get it?!” Peridot asked, looking as if she was about to cry. “If it wasn’t for me… if I hadn’t-”

Blue pulled her into a hug. 

“Shhh shh,” Blue said, feeling Peridot start to cry against her. “Peridot, you didn’t do this. I wrapped myself up in this because I saw a Gem in need. And even if I hadn’t, even if she never met you, she’d still be a monster and she’d just hurt someone else. You’re not responsible for who she hurts.”

Peridot shifted herself and hugged Blue back, while Yellow awkwardly stared at the display. Blue gestured over her shoulder at Yellow and the Zircon moved to join them in the hug.


	2. Sentimental Selfie

They were like that for about 11 minutes.

After the hug session they left the comforts of the couch and walked through more of the city. Blue gradually coaxed Peridot to talk more about her interests instead of dwelling on what had happened. It was still on everyone’s mind, however, and Yellow occasionally caught Peridot looking at Blue with a kind of guilt on her face. 

“And this is a space burrito shop,” Peridot said, indicating a restaurant on their right. “Diamonds know what a burrito is, but it’s here because the Irken conqueror of Vort conquered it too.”

“I heard it has something to do with eating,” Yellow said. “And further it causes a disruption in their anatomy which they need those ‘toilets’ for.”

Yellow said the t word with air quotes. The Gems resisted the mental picture that came into their minds; it was unfathomable, horrible, and unfathomably horrible.

“Wait, there!” Blue said, pointing in the opposite direction. “That’s it!”

The other two turned to where she was pointing. A particularly large couch was surrounded by a crowd of people taking pictures. It was the Universe’s Most Comfortable Couch, the greatest of Vortian inventions. It was said this couch was the reason that the planet was conquered. One of the terms of Vort’s independence was to make it off limits to everyone and the couch became only a display piece for the Universe to see, to covet, but not to sit on.

“We need a picture of this,” Blue said, taking off toward it. 

Yellow started to follow her but was stopped by Peridot.

“Zircon,” Peridot said, rubbing her limb enhancer. “I’m sorry for grabbing you.”

“What?” Yellow asked, surprised. “Peridot, it’s fine.”

“That’s the arm she broke, wasn’t it?”

“… yes.”

“I know we don’t talk a lot. But thanks, for standing up to her and for helping Blue through this.”

“Eh, sticking her with that destabilizer was worth the beating,” Yellow said, smirking. “But you’re welcome.”

She patted Peridot on the back and they walked off to join Blue Zircon. Blue had elbowed her to the front of the crowd and came to the red velvet rope that blocked off access to the Couch; it was an impenetrable defense.

“C’mon, let’s get a picture,” Blue said, as Peridot approached her.

Peridot opened her holoscreen and stood next to Blue, but stopped and beckoned Yellow over. Yellow shook her head, but Blue and Peridot insisted. Yellow relented and joined them, she and Blue standing on either side of Peridot. They smiled and took a photo.

The picture of the three of them, happy and in front of the all mighty Couch, would stick in their memory. It would be an image they’d hold onto for a long time, through good times and bad, they’d always have each other.


End file.
